Nothing in life prepares you for the death of a sibling.
You feel as if the world rolled off its axis and you are pitching head first down Mount Everest. It feels as if nothing can replace that person, as if nothing can take their place in your heart, and it does feel as if you’ve died with them.
Death is an unfortunate and earth shattering reality that we all must face. Many lose family, friends or acquaintances and we succumb to the grief and depression that follow.
Grieving the Death of a Sibling
It feels as if we are stifling in a dark cloud. We live with an overwhelming and continuous wave of deep sorrow.
We lose sight of our purpose.
Work becomes a struggle.
Going out becomes undesirable.
Our friends see a shadow of our former selves.
We risk drifting through life, with an open wound, a broken heart.
How to Grieve the Death of a Sibling
This does not have to be the case for you.
Yes, your heart hurts. The pain feels as if it will never go away. But you can prepare or grieve the death of a loved one, and still come through eventually, to finding new hope and joy again.
Yes, your own mortality will plague your mind. You might think you’re even willing to exchange places if only you could.
You will remember past mistakes and regrets.
But all these worries will sap your energies and make you emotionally unstable.
Accept the Process of Grieving
The first step to rising above the dark cloud plaguing your consciousness is to accept the loss.
Accept that it is okay to feel this way.
Everyone processes grief differently. There is no formula to how you must experience grief. Some take longer than others to get over the shock. They might be numb initially, and the flood of emotions comes later.
Others celebrate their sibling’s life and dwell on the good times.
We all grieve in our own way.
Talk About Your Experience with Someone
Sometimes, there are no words to express the emotional turmoil inside.
However, do so the best you can.
Your family and friends are there, for support. Often, they struggle with saying the right thing, but trust that they are there for you.
Let your loved ones know how they can support you.
Spend Time Alone When Needed
It is normal if you want to just be alone at times and not have to deal with the world and its issues.
Internally, your thoughts and emotions may require solitude and time. This way you will go through the process of accepting the death of your sibling and take the steps to move forward with your life.
If it you are feeling the urge to visit favorite locations where you shared fond memories or taking a stroll in the park, then do it.
You can also get into the habit of journaling.
Writing can be cathartic. It provides a more therapeutic way of handling the death of a loved one and you will capture the thoughts, memories and internal struggles on paper. Sometimes, your mind just wants to pour everything out.
Make Mementos for Your Loved One
Feel free to celebrate the life and death of your brother or sister.
Usually, siblings will participate in the funeral arrangements or planning of the funeral service. It is also okay, if you don’t feel up to taking part in the service. You may choose to honor your sibling later when pain is a lot less overwhelming.
You can compile a playlist or write sonnets about them. You can create a special photo album or make a memory box.
Explore your creativity.
In this way, you will have something that facilitates those moments when you choose to stop and remember their life.
Remember, Others Are Grieving Too
Keep in mind, your family and friends are grieving the loss of a loved one. Death is no respecter of person and they too will struggle with how to move on.
Reach out, offer support, talk with them, share fond memories, cry together, laugh together and respect each other’s choices in how they want to grieve.
Seek Professional Help and Support
Loss of a loved one can be devastating. The death of a sibling can cause depression and other psychological strain.
And sometimes, it’s best to seek professional help.
A counselor will guide you through the grief process and help you rebuild your life. They will provide unbiased support and make recommendations on the way forward.
You can choose from support apps, face-to-face sessions, group counseling, individual counseling or internet forums.
Do not go through it alone.
There are various resources available for grief counseling.
Check your local newspaper. Look through your community website or even your church bulletin board. A general physician can also make recommendations.
Surpassing Through the Ordeals of Grief
Grieve the death of your sibling in your own way. Remember to seek support and wrestle for the return of some normalcy in your life. They would want to see you happy again.