“A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
– Mark Twain
Are you ready to die?
It’s a loaded question, no doubt. Then again, perhaps many of you have already asked yourselves this question.
In this article, I aim to expose the deeper level meanings behind what is meant by being “prepared to die at any time”. I’ll outline some of the ways that will entail engaging fully in a spiritual, emotional, and physical preparedness whilst you are still alive. End of life planning is not just something you do for the ultimate logistical end parts of your life.* It’s about planning how you fulfill your heart’s desires through living your life, right now.
The preparedness aspect in ready to die planning explores the relationship between what your heart desires and how your head will lead to actions that can fulfill those desires.
*Logistical aspects are outlined in my article, Life & Death Planning, a Loving Thing to Do. I talk about the importance of having your logistical and physical affairs in order and gave you some tips on setting up your Advance Medical Directives and other documents as part of your end of life planning.
There is meager life satisfaction in living and dying with any feelings of regret. Why settle? The point is to feel blessed with you are able to do, be at peace with yourself and with whatever experiences you choose to own.
A short, animated Disney film, called, Inner Workings finely illustrates the relationship between the heart and achieving what the heart really wants. You can watch the trailer on YouTube, at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQLFcheLO4k. The story is about the relationship between one’s heart and one’s head, and how the heart gives messages to the head, and if the head doesn’t listen, the heart feels constricted, and the heart begins to shut down… not living fully. At the end of the story, the head listens to the heart and they end up having a beautiful synchronistic relationship, living happily ever after together. Isn’t that the ultimate goal, to live in a knowing of happily ever after? It’s an inside job. It’s the relationship with both parts of the self that come together in unison.
Imagine yourself at the end of your life. Do you carry regret? Are you living from your heart, experiencing a consistent sense of joy and love and laughter in your life? Or are you living from your head only, heeding to critical, limited, and destructive judgment about your abilities and desires? Are you holding back from living your heart’s desires, for some reason? And if that is so, what’s the reason?
Reason comes from the head, not the heart. It’s a rational answer to justify something, mostly through logic. If your heart desire laughter and joy, then it’s possible to achieve final days filled with easy laughter and happiness. Whatever you believe is stopping you from living your dreams could be a just a belief. A belief is a finality statement that is the result of thinking something over and over again and believing it to be true. If the root of the belief is negative and limiting… the action will reflect that belief.
Beliefs and lives can be changed in an instant because we have the ability to change our mind. That’s when using our head is a benefit. Planning for the end of life is a dance between the head and the heart.
If your answer to the question, “Are you ready to die?” is NO,” could it mean that you’re living life with regret right now and that if you died in the next moment, regret would escort you out? Perhaps you may know people in your life who live with regret, and even close loved ones may be living regret.
An introspective journey exploring what it means for you to live fully from the heart with love brings you one step closer towards living life without regret.
End of Life Plan Starts Within
Death is a strong force. The experience of death is the ultimate, most exquisite regarded transformation from one form to another transitioning. have equal rights. Both demand equal attention. One, we midwife in, and the other, we midwife out. Death is one of the most precious moments of our human experience. It’s an honor and privilege to witness life’s greatest mystery.
When we have the privilege to witness someone we love with regard, who is dying, there is a healing that stays with us for the rest of our lives. This gift can teach our children to live life feeling blessed modeling what it’s like to live fully, to fulfill dreams and our heart’s desires.
A natural acceptance of living dying an equal sense of love, dignity, honor and regard to both experiences because of the angst about it all… and then death and the process of dying becomes another beautiful experience of life. humor sense of calm along your way you are able to navigate the experience, feel blessed knowing that you. Your s then experience a different, kind and tender experience, knowing you ’ve blessed the gift of you is expressing all that you have to give living your human potential.
I learned from shamans in Peru on my journey of initiation being conscious of dying is a catalyst to be and stay conscious living, here and all the way to the “end”. Through the lens of death and dying, there is a sense of immediacy that comes to life, and more present at the moment. There is no other more important other time than the one we have right here, right now.
Looking at life starting from the end made perfect sense to me. This mindset of reverse engineering later assists me on a healing journey in 2003 breast cancer of becoming a life coach and death midwife, assisting people on their journey with their end of life human experience, whether for themselves or loved ones.
By asking yourself if you truly are living your life in totality, in integrity, and in alignment with your heart and head, then you can determine if you are ready to die, and you still have the opportunity to ask yourself what you would like to do about it.
End of Life Planning Workbook
If you own End Of Life Planning Workbook, you have the opportunity to write your “dying without regret” checklist, find ways to attain your visions, and check off your desires one desire at a time. These things don’t have to be world-changing… maybe just having an impact on one other human being is enough.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:
- What is my purpose?”
- “What makes my heart sing?”
Here’s a formula to remember:
- T + ETTT = CORR
- Thoughts + Energy Towards Those Thoughts = Creating Own Result/Reality (whether it’s positive or negative).
Lying with regret is probably one of the worst feelings of inadequacies we can feel at the end of life. You’ve heard people say, “I wish I spent more time with my family,” but it could be the other way around. One woman on her deathbed shared that she had put up with her husband for 5 years of her life, even though he was sour.
My father lived with regret in his entire life, feeling like a failure, as a man, husband, father, and provider. He felt alone and regretful for not being a better man. n the last eleven days of my father’s life, heal his sense of regret chocolate cake and turkey meatloaf
During that time, we created a video of his life, so that he could watch how to value his life was who loved him. He watched that video over and over again he had dementia e continually surrounded him, continually affirm how much we loved him how much he was appreciated for the living, for giving us his life and legacy until his feeling of regret healed. In his last breath, my dad felt blessed, recognizing his value through the legacy he was leaving us, his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, family and friends.
My friend Toni, died without regret. She lived out her life to the fullest, creating, teaching, writing and loving. She was one of the bravest human beings I ever met. Even though facing the heartbreak of losing her husband, after 44 fairy tale like years together, and the breast cancer was eating her up alive, she kept living life to the fullest screenplay called, “Miley, A Cindertale,” about her beloved white husky, who was rescued
Now is the time to have the courage to control your life, decrease your regret and increase your joy factor. And, it really doesn’t matter what you do in life, as long as you enjoy the journey. Joy is a simple emotion, a feeling of great happiness and pleasure, but sometimes people think it’s too simple and not enough to satisfy one’s life… that there has to be something “more important” to strive for and attain. Humans are conditioned to overlook the blessing of feeling joy and live according to what other people think is “best” for them
Here is a simple exercise to determine where your joy factor resides right now. Take the Joy Factor Barometer Test, measuring your joy factor on a scale from 1 to 10. It’s a way to identify where you spend most of your time.
Joy Factor Barometer Test
Take a piece of paper out, and draw a horizontal line with 1 being on your left and 10 being on your right. Draw equal demarcation points in increments of 1.
JOY FACTOR BAROMETER
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Then draw a line where you spend MOST of your time. I had a client who said she hovered around 6 and 8 most of the time. I asked her if she was satisfied with living her life between a 6 and an 8, and she said no. She wanted to live between a 9 and a 10. The key for her was finding out what she was willing to do about it.
Are you willing to do something about the way you are living, about eliminating your regret? If the answer is no, whose idea of your life are you living? If you find yourself hovering around a 3 or a 4 on the Joy Factor Barometer scale, what’s that all about? Are you satisfied in living a less than joyful, loving life? Have you ever hovered around a 9-10? If so, how did that feel?
As humans, we make everything so complicated when we are not living our true selves from our heart and soul. We have to take into consideration everyone around us all the time (and our own judgments that reside in the head), and that is not only time consuming, it just doesn’t work. We spend more time being a reflection of what we think people are thinking about or expecting of us, and we end up stripping the very joy out of being ourselves… our whacky wonderful selves.
When we live from the inside out and use the end of life as a way of writing a checklist of desires, we can create our own end of life plan, because we are living life now, without waiting for someone else’s approval or permission. It’s time for you and your head to get together and have that long awaited relationship you’ve been dying to have with someone else.
If you’ve been given messages to share with the world, take the first step, and share them with one other person you trust. If you’ve been given gifts that need to be expressed, have the courage to express them in whatever way that is. If you have a calling with a driving purpose, then let your passion live out your purpose. Dare to be all that you want to be and know that you already are that person.
When you use the lens of death and dying to plan the end of your life… your life becomes different, now and forever, because you are bringing a different perspective into the equation, and that perspective offers a way of living your life to the fullest, in whatever way that sings to your heart now.
It’s your life. Enjoy the journey. And, remember to bring love into everything you do.